Augustine Triumphs on Oprah's Show

Friends, there is a highly amusing "transcript of an interview" available at a hilarious web site, The Ironic Catholic. In one installment St. Augustine triumphs over Oprah as she attempts to trap him for misrepresentations in his best-selling autobiography.

Oprah: And we're back. St. Augustine, the pear tree in book two. Am I to understand you stole the pears, didn't eat them, and then threw them at pigs for sport?

Augustine: Yes, that's right. It was the most base point of my life.

Oprah: Stealing pears was your most base moment? How can you possibly argue that? For cripes sake, you're sleeping with every other woman in the book in your teenage years. And they were just...pears.

Augustine: It was about motive. I had no need for the pears and no appreciation for the pears. I could have seen them as beautiful objects of God's creation, but I didn't.

Oprah: So pineapples wouldn't have cut it? I always thought they looked strange, like diving into a mutant pine cone.

Augustine: Sure, or a coconut. Brown, ugly, hairy things. I'm a saint and I still don't understand God's intention on that one.

etc.

Give it a read here. Hat tip to The Shrine.